The following post is by a good friend who used to blog herself once. She had posted this before on her blog, but seeing as it is a highly pertinent issue today, which many people may find themselves in, I asked her if I could use it to share with my readers. She agreed. Thank you ever so much Smiley, you gem.
*****
“So, did anyone call today?” Zack asked popping a spoonful of spaghetti into his mouth. He was starving.
“Mum rang this morning asking whether we had received the parcel she sent and then Ryan rang later this afternoon,” Sammy said pouring a glass of water and taking a huge gulp.
“Ryan?”
“Yeah, Ryan from London. You remember him?”
“What did he want?” Zack asked starting to chew slowly.
“Oh nothing much, we were just talking about stuff, you know,” Sammy said reaching for a spaghetti string from Zack’s plate. She slipped it into her mouth and took a seat next to him on the couch.
“What stuff?”
“Well, he told me he went to see his mum today. I told you his parents are separated, didn’t I? And then he said we should come down to London during the summer break. He said he'd love to meet you,” Sammy laughed, remembering Ryan’s words.
“How long did you guys talk for?”
“About forty five minutes I think, not sure. It was good to talk to him. He said he left me something on my Facebook wall,”
“Did you check?”
“No, didn’t get time. Been revising all day,” Sammy stifled a yawn, took the empty plate from Zack’s hands and placed it on the table. She sat back on the couch, stretched her legs out and placed her head in Zack’s lap. He reached for the remote and started flicking through the channels.
“How’s that going?”
“Booooring. I missed you today. The day just went on and on and on,” Sammy said looking up into his face. Strands of dark unkempt hair fell into eyes. She studied the long column of his throat as her fingers played with the buttons on his white shirt. They'd been married for forty four days now.
“Really? That bad, aye?” his eyes twinkled with warm amusement. “And don’t you ruin this shirt of mine, I think it’s the only wearable one left in my whole wardrobe, thanks to you!” He grinned. Sammy laughed and tugged a little harder at the button.
“You’re worried more about your shirts, huh?” she said, looking away pretending to pout. He turned her face back and kissed her cute button nose.
“So what you say, we go to London this summer?” He pulled the ribbon out of her hair and let it fall loose. He loved her hair.
“Yeah that would be great,”
“We could go to Bath and visit my old uncle and aunty too, ain’t seen them lot for ages,” Zack said smirking remembering how his wife disliked his old fashioned family.Sammy punched him in the chest.
“Ha ha. Very funny! Ryan mentioned Bath; he said it was a lovely place to visit for a day,”
Zack’s hand paused its play of her hair.
“Can you just stop that,” he said suddenly.
“Stop what?”
“Ryan. You’re always talking about him. Ryan this and Ryan that,”
“No I’m not,”
Sammy sat up, lifting her head from his lap. The moment was gone replaced by something else.
“Yes you are. It’s always you and Ryan,”
“There’s no me and Ryan. What you talking about?”
Zack got up off the couch and faced her. His face was turning a slight shade of pink and all humour had vanished from his tired eyes.
“I bet there is,” He said ever so quietly.
There was silence in the room as Sammy stared at him, unable to believe what she was hearing.
“That’s just crazy. He’s just a really good friend that I met on Facebook. The guy lives a million miles away, don’t know what…”
“Oh so that’s what it is, is it?” he cut her short. “So if he was closer things would be different, is that it?”
“Hell no. That’s not what I meant. You’re taking it the wrong way Zack,”
“Am I? I don't think so!” He was shouting now
“Look, he’s just a friend. He’s helped me through a lot….”
“You care about him?”
“What?”
“I asked do you care about him.”
“Well of course I care about him, he’s my friend, Zack,” Sammy said, her voice quivered. She was hurt. She didn’t know where this was going.
“You know when mum and dad got divorced he was the only person I had who I could talk to. He’s always been there for me. Our friendship is special. I don’t see what the big deal is," She looked away as the memories came flooding back.
“The big deal? You want to know the big deal? You’re always going on about him and I’m sick and tired of it! Before the wedding you couldn’t stop talking about him and all your incredibly fun times together," he waved his hands around the room, the words coming out like a fierce storm. "You were even talking to him on our wedding day. And now look at you. How do you think that makes me feel? He’s helped…”
“What on earth is that supposed to...”
“Just shut up!” he spat the words at her and Sammy’s eyes widened. Zack never spoke to her like that. His jaw was tight, his eyes icy. He was angry. He looked up into her face and took a step towards her. Fear suddenly gripped Sammy. Zack would never hit her.
“It’s either me or him, do you hear?” he whispered the words close to her face. She didn’t say anything, too shocked to open her mouth. She didn’t recognize this Zack.
He turned around, grabbed his mobile and keys from the table and walked towards the door.
“Zack! This is crazy,” she said to his back as he walked out the room.
“Zack!” she called.
She heard the front door open and her pulse raced.
“Zack! Where are you going?”
There was silence.
And then the door slammed shut.
*****
What do you think? Have you ever been in such a situation, be it as Zack, Ryan or Sammy?
_________________________________
Posts
21 November 2012 at 01:07
sometimes jealousy is really reasonable. sometimes, its just jealousy that sucks (excuse me). i've been like Zack, and it hurt a lot..
21 November 2012 at 14:06
Sticky.
22 November 2012 at 19:38
I've certainly had those little comments made (about Nas, as it happens...). I think, over time, most people will find themselves in one, two or all of those situations, particularly when there is a bond developed over time with another.
A x
27 November 2012 at 06:48
Whoa.
Dramatic,TV style!
The post is absolutely great Smiley...what happened to the blog??
And Nas,add a new stalker to your list!
30 November 2012 at 23:37
I've actually been Ryan, Sammy and a bit of Zack cos this happened to me three times during different periods of my life :P
My first experience of this was as Sammy way back when I was like 13 or something. I had a huuuge crush on one of my bestest friends and he liked me too but we'd also get into the worst fights ever because I was good friends with a guy he had problems with in the past (well I guess its slightly different), etc, etc and at that age it just annoyed me in the sense that why is he trying to tell me who I can / can't talk to, etc.
Second experience was as Ryan. I was really close friends with this family friend I grew up with and we'd practically hang out / talk to each other all the time. Anyway he got with some girl who couldn't stand me / our friendship and me and the guy don't talk anymore and I guess part of me still holds the girl responsible for breaking up our friendship.
My last experience was as a bit of Zack. This was a few years ago, but I guess I was a bit more mature then before with the other experiences. Anyhow someone I was kind of involved with was close friends with a few girls .. and despite having mostly guy friends myself, of course his friendship with other girls would get to me. I didn't give him any ultimatums or anything but it did upset me that he couldn't find a friend in me who he could trust / talk to.
Anyway I guess what I'm trying to say is, though the other person in our life shouldn't give us a me or him/her kind of situation, we ourselves should try and understand how something innocent can make someone else feel and respect that. Plus now I thing its just safer to just avoid forming close friendships with the opposite sex, especially because something purely platonic is so hard to ensure because its entirely possible that one or both of you might have feelings for the other people at some point of the friendship. So I try to avoid it now .. and also, especially because I know how it can feel, I think out of respect for the other person, I'd try to cut back on my friend before even being told / given an ultimatum; which I disagree with either way because I think he should trust and respect me enough and talk to me about his issues then just avoid and ignore it and wish it to disappear .. and also because of the same mutual respect and love, I myself would try and balance it with what is appropriate and what isn't / think about the other person's feelings. That being said, as a friend left behind .. that of course also kind of sucks. And okay, I haven't been completely dropped in a day, it was more of a gradual drifting apart .. but it still hurt. That being said, I think its more fair and also safe for both people to just avoid becoming too good of friends.
Anyway woah huge essay comment sorry .. well you do piss about about my 6 liner posts so I thought I'd give you a page full comment :D
1 December 2012 at 19:45
Warning, my opinions hardly ever make sense so I apologise if it’s all gibberish and long!
This is a complicated but unfortunately common situation. My personal stand on it is that guys and girls CAN be JUST friends. I may be biased with this because I do have many male friends who are just friends, and with whom I know would only ever see me as a friend. Well, more like a sister/brother relationship if anything (Hi Nas lol).
I have been in Sammy’s position many times where a guy I would be “involved” with would get jealous at the fact that I have many close male friends. One guy I was with once: “Why are you constantly texting other guys? Why are they making you laugh? Why am I not the only person who can do so?” etc etc etc. This annoyed me. Like seriously? I’m not allowed to have a social life outside of this ‘relationship’? The worst thing was, these other mates I would be talking to; they were his mates too, so surely he would have known that nothing untoward would EVER happen. But he and I used to be friends previous to our relationship, so maybe this made him paranoid. This I can understand, but whatever happened to trust?
The same situation occurred with another guy I dated. But he was more funny than irritating: “I don’t like the way X, Y or Z talks to you”... “Shall I stop talking to them?” (Yes, I was willing to do so; that in itself I feel is just stupid). “No, it’s not you, I trust you, but it’s just them”... “So I shouldn’t stop talking to them?”... “No, but I just don’t like when you do.”... “You don’t like it, but are not willing for me to do something about it. Just shut up and don’t complain then”. Funny.
I myself have no qualms if a guy I’m seeing has many close girl mates. I feel that it is important to be able to have someone outside of your “relationship” to talk to, especially for a guy to have a girl mate. Guys aren’t quite all there when it comes to knowing what to do to keep women happy (yes, we are a very complicated species) so having a girl mate would help him right? Also, there’s only so much a guy can open up to his male friends. Emotions and all that jazz don’t really go down so well in male groups at times I have noticed lol. I have also never felt threatened by another women, I encourage whoever I’m with to keep their friendships with girls going. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter who he talks to, I KNOW he’s coming home to me. I also have had girls jealous of me and my friendship with their boyfriends. Funnily enough tho, in this case, I always encourage my mate to spend more time with his girlfriend, purely because I know how jealous girls get lol.
Of course, sometimes friendships can develop into something more, and yes there will always be a point where one person may start developing feelings for the other (especially if you’re just awesome like that) but this could happen with anyone you meet, not just the people who are your friends. With my friendships, I make sure they know it’s strictly a brother/sister type of friendship, and after that there are no problems. We watch out for each other and have each other’s backs. As a girl, I feel it’s important to have close relationships with guys, just in case anything should happen to me and I would need their help.
However, I still completely understand why people do get paranoid and jealous over these things. Look at the state of the world we live in now. Look at the state of relationships. I asked earlier, what happened to trust? The fact of the matter is, it is VERY hard to find. And harder to keep. It’s a sad situation but life is such. Seems like such a bummer to end on...
Hey, stop being depressed and smile! :)
7 December 2012 at 23:23
Neither.
16 December 2012 at 17:02
sammy. i have been there. and i chose Zack. and i will choose Zack always. There are somethings which may hurt a lot but they need to be done, like end a friendship for something bigger in life.
31 December 2012 at 05:43
that was an interesting read. one of those rare ones that you can totally picture yourself in, with your own zack and ryan.