Closing Pandora's Box

It’s bee a very long time since you last wrote. You write very inspirative post,” said the General.

A few days ago, I decided to step outside into the garden and go looking for bugs. I didn’t get very far as the grass was too long; hugging my shins and almost reaching up to my knees in other places. And so, I sat down a few steps away from the kitchen door and watched. I sat there for over an hour. I saw life, I saw order, I saw determination, and I saw hope. Seeing and looking are two different things, but that’s a discussion for a different day. I was looking at weed filled grass but seeing something else. I’d like to share with you two photographs I took on my phone and you can tell me whether after looking you too can see that which I did.

Next to my leg on the right side was a dandelion and on the left some tiny pink flowers, through which were crawling many little insects. I watched them as they moved about on legs thinner than a single strand of my hair, gracefully scuttling about, almost as if playing hide and seek with me and my phone. But luckily (for me) there was one insect, so engrossed in what it was doing, it didn’t care about what I was doing, and so I took a picture of it.

 

It is normal for us to be so dazzled by surrounding beauty like of the flower, that we do not even notice the real beauty; the beauty of the effort put in by the miniscule insect to conquer the flower and reach its destination. In the same way in our lives it is those things, those people, that we take for granted who become like the insect in the picture above (do you see it?), that get forgotten in the presence of something seemingly more beautiful regardless of how temporary it is. Yet they are always there, trying and trying again, not giving up on what they believe, not giving up on you because that’s who they are and what they do. (Thank you, my dear insects friends).

They say, blow the dandelion away, make a wish and it’ll come true. And they wish for you to do this and that, so you give and give from the kind depths of your mortal heart, till there seems to be nothing more to give. You are left hanging and it takes so much strength. Hang in there my dear, have faith, grit your teeth together and remember the insect, unfazed by anything around it. The thing about being strong is that no-one asks how you are, or how you feel. So let me ask you now, ‘how are you today?’

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Photograph of insect climbing flower taken from personal photography available here.
Photograph of blown away dandelion taken from person photography available here.

The difficulties you meet will resolve themselves as you advance. Proceed, and light will dawn, and shine with increasing clearness on your path.

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Photograph of path taken from personal photography available here.

“Exhausting,” he said to her. “Kids are such work. I can’t wait to have kids of my own, but sometimes thinking about it is scary.”

“Hmm I feel the same way sometimes,” she replied. “Then I slap myself and shout silently ‘How can I bring such beautiful innocence into THIS world.’”

“When you look at the world what do you see? I don’t know about you, but I look at the world, I see it through eyes dark and colourless. It's a bit like blue jeans. No matter how blue they are to begin with, those areas that are constantly stretched and rubbed and poked lose their colour over time. Especially at the knees. Just before they’re about to rip and leave a gaping big hole, they turn colourless. Same with these eyes of mine. Death, failure, loss, destruction, persecution, sorrow and hurt. You name it, they’ve seen it all and they too have lost their colour. The thing is when something loses its colour, it catches other colours around it much more quickly. Like a plain white piece of paper can be painted any colour whereas a bright red one will not show all of them as well. And at this stage, these sunken eyes of mine notice the beauty, notice the hope, notice the love, notice the sacrifice and notice the good, no matter how small it may be. Indeed, there are vast areas lacking light, but if you look hard enough, in the right places, you’ll see it too. Look inside yourself, deep down where the soul resides and you’ll notice that no matter how grimy you may be on the surface the light within continues to burn burn bright. A street lamp gives the same light as when it was new, except the pollution of the cars and the dust deposited by the wind may make it seem otherwise. Now imagine that light multiplied 7 billion times. It would be blinding. The problem isn’t that there is no light in the world. The problem is that most people don’t know how to find it. When I have kids one day insha’Allah, if I fail to teach them anything else, I hope I’ll be able to teach them these two things: I’ll teach them about their light that resides within them. And I’ll teach them that if they share that light of theirs with others around them, it’s the best they can do. Even if the layers of grime and filth on a person’s surface is so thick that it only lets a small pinpoint of light, in the darkest of areas, that too can be illuminating. Remember that, and find your light my friend. If you lose your way, then I’ll share mine with you.”

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Photograph of streetlamp in the sunset, taken from personal photography [link].

It is often said that the ultimate transformation is comparable to that seen in nature; as being like the caterpillar turning into a butterfly. But we tend to forget two important things. Firstly, all caterpillars have the potential to fly. And secondly, only the butterfly knows what it went through to get those wings. 

There are moments in our lives where we feel cocooned off from the world, isolated and alone, vulnerable and powerless in a dark and unmerciful world. Not just one but many moments in our lives, were we found ourselves in a place not too dissimilar from that where caterpillars go to grow their wings. The butterfly, so beautiful and graceful turns and says, “These humans always speak of my transformation which I can undergo only once in my life.  They are strong, yet so oblivious to their own strength and have the ability to transform at every moment of their lives and in innumerable ways.”

Cocoon moments are like fixed points in one’s existence. A person is not defined by a particular moment, but how they got to that moment and what they do in response to it. Those moments are like a crossroads, a choice. When you feel alone, remember you can either let go and watch your world be ravaged by monsters on the ground below, or you can keep the faith and learn to fly.

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Photograph of drawing and writing, taken from personal photography.

I was going through my photos that are stored away in the hard-drive of memories. Dad brought this hard-drive a few years ago, solely for the purpose of storing photos and videos of the family. I came across this photo:

This photo I took myself, many years ago. I think it was the beginning of high school; year 7 or 8. On that day there was a blackout in our area, which is quite a rare occurrence here. It’s the only time I can remember it ever happening to be honest. While the house was flooded in darkness, I remember mum walking to the kitchen and fetching some candles a friend of hers had given as a gift a few days before. She gave me one too, so that I could continue doing my homework (I was a good little boy back then). Now that I think of the incident, I am made to realise that sometimes you need a little darkness to see the light.

*****

I’m also quite a lot behind on blog reading and replying to comments. Sorry guys, I haven’t forgotten you. I’ll get round to that ASAP.

[This is a scheduled post]

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Title: Bowl of oranges – Bright Eyes
Photograph showing flame – Personal photography

This picture I stole off the loveeeeely Bubblegum (thank you!). She is truly amazing.

I’ve never really been much of an X Factor fan, but I think this song is really rather good and quite inspirational. Joe McElderry was the winner of 2009’s X Factor.

Footballers are known for their lavish lifestyles, fast cars and HOT babes. But here’s some down to earth advice from Javier Hernandez, Manchester United’s first Mexican player (click to enlarge and read what is in the red box):

This is for you Marshmellow, Furree Katt & The General :)

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You should all recommend me a blog or two to read. It can be anything which you think I’ll enjoy. I want some more reading to do!

I’ve nearly finished writing part 2 of the post about racism, hate and discrimination. That’ll be up soon, sorry to have kept you waiting.

I’ve always loved sitting outside talking to the stars. Charley and I did it quite often. We would share our secrets, our hopes and our dreams sitting there covered in the silvery blanket of the stars and the moon.

“Every night I go to bed, I look at the stars and wish that one day I could just reach out and touch one of them,” she said with a glint in her eye. A glint of hope, of want and of a dream.

*****

When we were young we had many dreams. Some of us dreamed to be cowboys chasing bad guys on horseback, some of dreamed to be power rangers using kick-ass moves to save the planet from evil aliens, some of us dreamed to be train drivers flying on land, some of dreamed to be pilots gracefully roaming the air like birds, whereas others dreamed to be trees (yeah that was me, don’t ask). As we grew older and saw more of what the world had to offer our dreams changed.

Are dreams just for little children? It’s easy for us to believe, and many of us do, that the person sitting next to us in biology class would be an excellent surgeon, the cousin who breaks all his toys will one day be a skilful engineer and the neighbour’s little girl who can so convincingly change her mood will one day be a famous actor. But why do we never think ‘that could be me’? Our mind never happens to cross the path of aspiring. Believing in a dream is hard work. You don’t have to tell me about it. It is just so much easier do to nothing. But what if there comes a time when you can no longer do nothing?

People who really dream never give up, no matter how many legs are stuck out in front of them. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start again. It’s like an obsession which clouds their vision and whatever they do, is a small step to fulfilling that dream. Whether it be passing exams with good grades, buying a cosy little house in a peaceful area, earning a promotion or just resolving a few family issues, no dream is too small to pursue.

Dreams are so fragile, like the dew drops on a rose. There are some dreams which we chase on our own, from which we get fame, glory or money. There are those dreams that can only be achieved with the combined effort and power of a number of dreamers, for example those dreams that are remembered in the annals of history. Most dreams require a finger to hold onto, guidance of where to go, they need to be nurtured. It is these dreams that require a dreamer like you and others to lead, encourage and give them hope. Those dreamers who make it a life ambition to pursue their dreams, become a Nelson Mandela, a Mother Teresa, a Martin Luther King, a Princess Diana etc. People like the ones I have mentioned have a great power, and that is their belief.

The scene below is from one of my favourite films, ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ in which the father tells his son the importance of believing in and pursuing one’s dreams despite what others may say.

Though Charley passed away at the beginning of this year, I still go our special place and share my secrets with the beautiful stars and like before, the stars quietly listen. The stars are like a repository for dreams. With each dream that is shared with them, they become brighter and even more beautiful. The heavens are full of the dreams shared by countless people over the millennia.  Your dream could be residing in the same star as the dream of Mahatma Ghandi after he was thrown off a train in Pietermaritzburg, South Africa. The real question is, he had a dream and he pursued it but will you pursue yours or will you leave your dream to wither away like a dead flower?

If you ever feel your hopes and dreams slipping away and you need some reason or some hope then this following PowerPoint may give you inspiration. It was emailed to me by my dad.

Click here to download

“You matter because you are you & you matter to the last moment of your life.” – Dame Cicely Saunders.

When the NHS was founded on July 5^th 1948, it was a big step into the unknown. The government wanted to provide healthcare to each and every individual and would be responsible for funding. Not everyone was optimistic. The Editor of the British Medical Journal at the time agreed with the logic of spreading the cost of the treatment of illness over the whole community but feared many dangers in a state run medical service; dogma, timidity, lack of incentive, administrative hypertrophy, stereotyped procedure and lack of intellectual freedom. At that time, Aneurin Bevin, a key figure in the formation of the NHS, wrote to all the medical professionals and consoled them saying any problems would be dealt with. You can read his message here.

Death is something which the NHS wasn’t ready to deal with in it’s infancy. It’s main aim was to cure and or manage illness. It was at that time that Dame Cicely Saunders founded St Christopher’s Hospice in 1967 aiming to promote and provide skilled and compassionate palliative care of the highest quality. Every Thursday evening, I go to St Christopher’s, training to be a volunteer. It’s been 3 weeks now and already I have learnt a lot. I thought I’d share some of those things with you.

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Hope and it’s relationship with honesty.

Hope is one of the few things in life that can keep us living when there is nothing else left. It is the light that is nearly always on even when every other light may have turned off. Hope can make the dead walk, it can transform the weak into warriors and can give a broken man a reason to believe in tomorrow. However hope given falsely can cause irreversible damage. “People shouldn’t give false hope when there’s none around,” said one of the other volunteers. Hope is extremely potent, a small amount, the size of a grain of sand can shine up a person’s life. But it is highly important that when we share hope with someone bereft of it, we do so honestly. There’s no point telling a person who has just lost their legs in an accident to keep the hope of walking again. Such hope, based on falsehood and nothing, is more likely to have extremely detrimental effects than do anyone any good.

Pull yourself together, and just get over it…

When passing through an illness or the grieving period after the death of a loved one, there are some people who due to a lack of experience and understanding may tell you to pull yourself together, to strengthen up and to get over it. Truth of the matter is, every day you spend bedbound or every night you spend crying the tears of sorrow, you’re telling yourself exactly that. You don’t need others doing the same. After all, sorrow and a person’s way of dealing with it is personal, as is the time it takes for them to come to terms with their loss. The journey of acceptance after a traumatic event is like a daunting climb up a mountain; full of hardships and extremely tiring. If any one needs to make that journey of acceptance quickly, it is those people who tell you to hurry up. They need to accept the fact that you need your time and them constantly pushing, directly or indirectly, will probably make it a lot harder for you.

You talk, I’ll listen.

I’ve always been a strong believer in the power of talking about one problems and having someone who will listen. In one of the training sessions, our supervisor told us to find a partner and tell them something we had really wanted to do or achieve but were unable to do so because of whatever problem. It was the listener’s job to speak as little as they could but give their full attention to the speaker. Each person got approximately five minutes to talk. In a room surrounded by people, the majority of whom, like me, had lost a loved one made me feel comfortable. Most of us had felt the pain that follows after the death of someone dear and could see it in each other’s eyes. When I began talking to a complete stranger, the words flowed by their own accord. Normally for those of you who know me personally will know that I rarely talk about such things. But at that moment in time, the feeling of unity shared as a result of loss, helped me formulate words and sentences I had never spoken before. The other person, just nodded in understanding and that was enough. The calmness and the relief it brings is something which further strengthened my belief in talking and listening. Sometimes we don’t need happy pills or pills that will stop us from dying, but instead having someone who will listen properly and at least try to understand is one of the greatest things we can ever wish for.

I like writing. It's my pressure valve which I can use to relieve the excessive build-up of emotions and feelings that sometimes threaten to blow me up. It's a way I can put down onto paper things that are eating me up on the inside so that I can face them and deal with them.
There is one such piece of writing, which when I showed to a few friends of mine they suggested I should share it with others for reasons you'll find out when you read it for yourself. I started writing this back in February, a few days after my birthday and it's only just recently that I have completed it. Many of you have been waiting to read this 'story' for a long time and at first I had decided to put it into one pdf file which could be easily downloaded. But seeing as how time consuming that is, I shall now upload each part as I finish typing it. This is where it begins...