Closing Pandora's Box

It’s bee a very long time since you last wrote. You write very inspirative post,” said the General.

A few days ago, I decided to step outside into the garden and go looking for bugs. I didn’t get very far as the grass was too long; hugging my shins and almost reaching up to my knees in other places. And so, I sat down a few steps away from the kitchen door and watched. I sat there for over an hour. I saw life, I saw order, I saw determination, and I saw hope. Seeing and looking are two different things, but that’s a discussion for a different day. I was looking at weed filled grass but seeing something else. I’d like to share with you two photographs I took on my phone and you can tell me whether after looking you too can see that which I did.

Next to my leg on the right side was a dandelion and on the left some tiny pink flowers, through which were crawling many little insects. I watched them as they moved about on legs thinner than a single strand of my hair, gracefully scuttling about, almost as if playing hide and seek with me and my phone. But luckily (for me) there was one insect, so engrossed in what it was doing, it didn’t care about what I was doing, and so I took a picture of it.

It is normal for us to be so dazzled by surrounding beauty like of the flower, that we do not even notice the real beauty; the beauty of the effort put in by the miniscule insect to conquer the flower and reach its destination. In the same way in our lives it is those things, those people, that we take for granted who become like the insect in the picture above (do you see it?), that get forgotten in the presence of something seemingly more beautiful regardless of how temporary it is. Yet they are always there, trying and trying again, not giving up on what they believe, not giving up on you because that’s who they are and what they do. (Thank you, my dear insects friends).

They say, blow the dandelion away, make a wish and it’ll come true. And they wish for you to do this and that, so you give and give from the kind depths of your mortal heart, till there seems to be nothing more to give. You are left hanging and it takes so much strength. Hang in there my dear, have faith, grit your teeth together and remember the insect, unfazed by anything around it. The thing about being strong is that no-one asks how you are, or how you feel. So let me ask you now, ‘how are you today?’

_________________________________

Photograph of insect climbing flower taken from personal photography available here.
Photograph of blown away dandelion taken from person photography available here.

Silence. It can be very loud at times, almost suffocating. Sometimes that same quiet that is just so peaceful and serene grabs you by throat and squeezes the breath out of you. And claws at your skin and silently seeps right through you, twisting its way beneath the surface. Then you're running around looking for the damn remote. It leaves an emptiness in the stomach, as if you're floating in nothingness. You know it is hurting but the numbness stops you feeling anything. And you wonder if this is really it. That you're meant to float. "Float like a butterfly. Sting like a bee," said Muhammad Ali. A loved one asks what your plans are. "To float," you hear yourself say. They look at you crazy. "That's bullshit, you're no floater!". But the world sometimes pushes you as if you are no more than a feather, weightless and without direction. You float where it takes you whether you like it or not.

This is an unedited text conversation I had with Rosaline at midnight. <3

_________________________________

Title: Firework – Katy Perry

We’ve had countless boiler problems this year. Every few months something seems to happen. It sprouts a leak, starts letting out gas, making weird and un-boiler-like noises or just not getting turned on when I try to press its buttons. Last week it started drooling all over the floor and the pressure inside would rapidly drop and so prolonged use of hot water (in a bath or shower) would mean you’d have to do some fancy stuff to it to make the hot water come back. This was annoying, since I take my time whenever I have a bath or shower. So much so one of my friends always say “see you next week..” every time I text her, “I’ll text you later, about to jump into the bath/shower.” A few days subsequent to this, the boiler spluttered its last few breaths and stopped working all together. 3 days without hot water and heating.

It is not very often we consider boilers to be of value in our lives. Even when we talk about the things that we take for granted, how often do you hear anyone mention their boiler? I guess it’s like that clichéd line goes “you don’t realise the value of something till it’s gone…”. Said so many times, and probably experienced many more times but still it rings true. I realised the sheer importance of it when waking up for Tahajjud and Fajr (morning) prayers in the bitter cold without any hot water to wash with or heating to warm up the house with. I realised it’s importance when running late for university and jumped into the shower for a quick one only to be drenched in ice cold water. I realised the importance of it when sitting down stairs studying with frozen feet and fingers because of the cold. The water was so cold it left a burning sensation on contact with skin.

“It’s so annoying,” said  my brother one morning. “Why does this stupid thing keep messing up! I don’t wanna go to school today.”

“Think about all the people who live in icy conditions without hot water, or central heating. They only have one pan, in which to cook and in which they heat up water for a bath. Be grateful,” replied my dad.

The whole thing gave a few members of the household a really bad cold but it got me thinking. We use so many things each and every day. Many of these things we use without any thought as to their value in our lives, because they don’t seem valuable. Forget the small things, many of us are caught up in our traps that we aren’t even grateful for the big things that glare us in the face.

Say thank you to whoever you believe in, for once some of these things are gone, they may never come back. Thank God the boiler is now fixed. But more importantly thank God it was only the boiler and nothing more that messed up.

PS
This was written in a hurry so please excuse the grammar and or other mistakes.

_________________________________

Title: Autumn Days – Estelle White

We were sitting and talking, waiting for afternoon lectures to start. The Indian girls I was with were on a roll; after bitching for about half an hour they moved onto Bollywood and began re-enacting their favourite scenes. I don’t actually know why I was there because I dislike bitching and don’t watch Bollywood. I guess I was literally killing time in the most painful way possible.

The subject of the conversation turned to one particular (absent) individual and I learnt many eye opening facts about their life story. In all that time I had been yawning profusely and making funny faces at people passing by our table at the canteen so the girls looked at me, expecting some input into the discussion at hand:

It’s amazing isn’t it? People form ideas and assumptions about others really very quickly but when you actually hear their story, you have nothing to say but “oh” and wish you could take it all back.

Our eyes see only that which they are capable of seeing or that which we want them to see. That’s also why people wear lenses and glasses. It’s not the thing being looked at that is changing, but the ability of one to see that particular thing. If you stand two individuals; one with perfect vision and another who is short-sighted together at a distance of 15 metres from a sign, they’ll see different things. The sign is the the same but the images perceived are different.

It’s the same with people. What we see of others is nothing but skin and clothes, all superficial. And when seen through our eyes, they’re even more distorted.

*****

In other news, I am extremely sorry for having not posted in over a month. Though I may not have commented on your blog posts, I have regularly been visiting and read them every morning on my phone while on the train to university. The wonders of technology aye.

Lastly, you may recall my previous post was about a series of guest posts that I would like to do in the next month or so regarding the issues women face in today’s society. I have already received some excellent, though provoking and well written articles from a number of you but there are still some slots available if you wish to join the discussion as a few people have dropped out due to one reason or another. So if you wish to get involved, just let me know.

I hope and pray you are all having an excellent weekend!

Stay smiling.

This post is dedicated to Cяystal

_________________________________

Title: I need a dollar – Aloe Blacc
YouTube video: I saw on Asma Khan’s blog and as it was really pertinent to the post, decided to include it.

Exams finished on Wednesday and I don’t think I would have been able to do them without the help of the General, Little Miss Sunshine and Dummer. It was Dummer who made me start revising for the ‘immunity and infection’ module by sending me a word document full of so many words underlined in red. Without Little Miss Sunshine’s emails I very much doubt I would have been able to do much of the ‘Therapeutics: Protein to Patient’ exam. The General was just the General, helping here, there and everywhere. Thank you to all 3 of you and to everyone for your support, well wishes and early morning texts.

Before exams started, apart from revision there was the dissertation to do. It was titled, ‘sphingosine-1-phosphate induced reactive oxygen species production in microglia’ and the final book, 46 pages long, looked rather nice if I may say so myself. It was bound with red leather (knowing me are you surprised I picked that colour?) and I was quite happy with it in the end. I couldn’t stop opening it and flicking through the pages every few minutes.

*****

Yesterday I spent most of the day gardening. It was a chance for me to de-stress and get my mind off things. While mowing the grass, taking out weeds from the flower beds and watching the bees and other insects fly and crawl, I was made to think about life and people. I’d like to share some photos I took on my phone and the thoughts that accompanied them.

Life is full of doors; some have behind them countless opportunities to excel and others are opened or closed depending on the decisions we make. Whenever life offers you a door take a peep through because you never know, you may be kings or queens of your very own Narnia on the other side. Be careful you look properly before you walk in though, because it may just be an empty drop into nothingness.

Every gardener knows just how much of a problem weeds can be. They deprive flowers and other plants that you want to grow of nutrients, sunlight and space. If you rip off the shoots above the ground they disappear, yes, but only temporarily. They’ll keep growing back, again and again and again, year after year. It’s the same with problems each one of us faces in our day to day lives. If we shove them under the carpet, away from the view of the world, yes they’ll not be visible, but they’ll always be there. And as long as they’re there, well they will cause problems. To deal effectively with weeds you have to find the roots, yank them out and dispose of them. In the same way, when faced with a problem it’s best to deal with them at the root level (for that is the cause) and not the shoot level (for that is just what the root is exhibited as).

While clearing out the flower beds I noticed bees flying onto the flowers dancing from one to the other. Some would also come to these blue flowers (above), land on them but quickly fly away. It reminded me of people who hide behind a pretty face. When you get to know them properly however, you realise deep down inside they’re nothing but prickly buggers and if you get too close things can get messy.

In our garden we have had a rose arch. The top of the arch broke yesterday and after moving some of the branches around (and desi engineering) I managed to make it stand by itself. It made me realise the importance of support in our lives without which we too would fall. But more importantly it made me realise that once we have been helped on to our feet, we all have the strength to stand on our own without support.

At the base of the rose arch I noticed that many weeds had grown. In the same way as these plants were stealing nutrients and minerals from the rose plant, with little care for the latter, people also do the same. Some people come to you pretending to be friends bringing nice gifts and happiness. But when faced with the choice of you or both of you, they wouldn’t hesitate in leaving you behind.

It is for this reason that roses protect their beauty with thorns. That doesn’t necessarily mean people and other animals will stop touching them or stop causing them harm, but it does make the person think of their own safety before they do so. In the same way a Muslim lady protects her beauty by wearing a veil.

All throughout the day I was desperately trying to take a picture of a busy bee, as they flew around me. By the time my phone’s camera turned on, the bee would already have already buzzed off. Just as I was about to give up and go inside for lunch, another opportunity presented itself. You can see the result of it above.

*****

I wish you all a very happy, relaxing and enjoyable weekend wherever in the world you are.

________________________________

Title: Mary Mary quite contrary – Nursery Rhyme
All photographs in this post are from my personal photography

The trick is in what one emphasizes (when thinking). We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same. – Carlos Castaneda.

Thinking. What type of thinker are you? Click on the link below, download the PowerPoint and see for yourself. It puts forward a very important message for us all.

Click here to download

I’m not going to say much about this topic but just remember excessive amounts of anything are bad for you. Even the things that may be good. The same applies to thinking.