Closing Pandora's Box

Selfish.

That one word sums up the attitude that society had for working mothers and to some extent still does.

Even recently I saw an admin post on a Facebook page using the word selfish and clearly stating that working mothers are the reason that there is a rise in young people committing crimes etc.

There are many studies which suggest that a working mother can harm her child’s development but also studies which contradict this. But I do not feel it is as simple as comparing a working mother against a stay at home mum.

I am a working mother. So…..am I selfish?

No I do not believe so.

I went to work when my daughter was 1. Did my daughter lose out? No. She was with my parents and I was only working for 4 hours a day. She got to spend some quality time with her grandparents and I got to get out of the house and earn some money.

Now that she is 5 my working hours fit around her. I drop her off at school and I pick her up.

Is the fact that I am a working mother adversely affecting her?

No.

She is advanced with her reading and is pretty much in the top groups at school. We take holidays, and although I am not with her 24/7 in the summer holidays, I make sure we do a number of activities. So I do not think that anyone can say that she is missing out.

I do realise though that some working mothers do neglect their children. For them their careers are more important, and their children hardly see there parents and are raised by child-minders and nannies.  Or some working mothers do not manage their time wisely and find the right balance; then the children suffer.

I work because we cannot manage on my husband’s salary alone. We could if we claimed benefits and I refuse to do that. I would rather work for my money. And I resent people who sit their in their comfy homes passing judgement on working mothers without knowing the full facts or generalising.

Just because a child has it’s mother at home all the time does not mean the child will turn out to be a well balanced child, in fact some mothers do more harm to their children being IN their lives. So I believe the debate of working mum v stay at home mum is unfair. It depends on the mother herself, the kind of family life they have, it can even depend on whether the mother is educated or not.

Being a working mother is a challenge in itself and yes it can be stressful at times; in fact it can end up being a juggling act. However if you remain organised and manage your time wisely then it makes life easier. I have sometimes felt it has gotten a bit too much and on odd occasions I have gotten stressed and angry; I sometimes want to just come home and put my feet up like hubby does but unfortunately I don’t often get that luxury.

By Foz
http://www.muslimmummies.com/
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