Yesterday at the hospice my colleague and I started talking about the pornographic industry. Though initial parts of this conversation maybe somewhat crude and explicit, the points raised at the end are extremely important and thought provoking.
| Him | I have been totally put off porn. |
| Me | No way? You? You like have a wank multiple times a day how can you of all people be put off it? |
| Him | 7 times a day… |
| Me | What about all that friction? |
| Him | I’ve learnt to use lube. |
| Me | Anyway, you were saying about being put off it. What happened? |
| Him | I recently read some really disturbing facts about it. |
| Me | Like what? |
| Him | For example 1 in 5 porn stars are likely to commit suicide. There was this lady who got so depressed she drove into a kindergarten and survived. And then did it again. She died the second time. Then you hear about others jumping off balconies or overdosing. |
| Me | 1 in 5? No way?! That’s bloody HUGE. And freakin’ hell man, that’s messed up. |
| Him | And like nearly all suffer from sexually transmitted diseases such as gonorrhoea and genital herpes. |
| Me | But I thought porn stars underwent thorough testing for that kind of stuff. |
| Him | *shakes head* I was on porn leaks. It’s like wikileaks but for porn and they had details of thousands and thousands of porn stars. They had their real name, porn star name and then some information. I had to scroll down many thousands before I came across one that passed. That is to say one that was clean. |
| Me | I’m surprised. |
| Him | And also, many of the female porn stars who have been in the industry for more than a decade or so end up having to use diapers because they no longer have the ability to retain bodily fluids. |
| Me | No freaking way. But I don’t get it, why a diaper? |
| Him | Think of this way. Getting a rod the thickness of that pipe *points at tap which is verrrrrry thick* shoved repeatedly where it shouldn’t be harms that area. |
| Me | But you hear of all these couples having a fun time nearly every night. They seem to be alright. |
| Him | Yeah but think of the aggression that is involved in porn. It’s not normal. |
| Me | I guess so. |
| Him | And do you know what really disgusted me and got me thinking? |
| Me | What? |
| Him | A doctor was quoted as saying how, if we were to see someone getting beaten up on the street, we’d do our best to prevent it. Like say for instance you saw some one beating someone else up, would you not try and stop or at least tell the person to stop? |
| Me | Yeah of course. |
| Him | And if you saw the same person getting beaten up the next day you’d do the same. And the day after and after and after that too. But there comes a time when we just can’t be bothered. It becomes a normal occurrence and when we say that we have rationalised a pretty irrational thing. |
| Me | Right. |
| Him | And the same is with porn. We rationalise the violence the girls and women are put through because ‘its a norm’ and because when we hear about them getting £5,000 per film and see them smiling after a film we accept it. And in that moment we rationalise the extreme violence and justify it. There are more pervs in the world than there are non-pervs, so it’s the way things go. The girls get strangled and slapped and thrown and put through all sorts of painful positions. |
| Me | But would you not agree to the fact that there is a difference between porn stars and people getting beaten up? |
| Him | And the same applies to sports like boxing, and cage-fighting. They’re so brutal and the injuries sustained can be so horrific. |
| Me | Yeah but porn stars, boxers, fighters, they all chose to do what they do. Whereas someone getting beaten up across the street is not their fault. They don’t choose to do it. |
| Him | That is true, but why does society act against drug addicts who ‘choose’ to take drugs but not the other people who are victims of quite serious forms of violence? |
I just want you to concentrate on what he said about rationalising the irrational to make it acceptable. Come to think of it, it happens a lot in today’s society. We are quick to find rationale for things that really shouldn’t be rationalised thus allowing us to brush those monsters away from our thoughts. Why? Why do we allow such things to happen?
________________________________
Posts
4 April 2011 at 01:00
Good post!
And you were right. It is though provoking. And I don't have an answer yet to your question.
Thanks for sharing!
Yours Truly =] x
4 April 2011 at 01:30
eew! eew! eew! this jst made me even more irritated in the industry. hope the girls decide to do sumn better with their lives though.
4 April 2011 at 01:38
interesting convo, not sure how that came up...
& I'm not sure if people "rationalize" porn but there isnt much we can do to stop it. its become a money making industry. I've always found it a degrading and disgusting industry in general especially towards women. there was a programme ages ago called "how the porn industry made its billions" and that was shocking.
& I wonder what the reasons are behind "working" in the porn industry- is it really for the money or is it forced?
I dont think anyone can be particularly happy working as a porn star despite how much money they are paid.
I wonder about the people paying to watch/ download porn because they might not realise that they contribute to what happens to the porn stars.
btw I always thought porn came with computer viruses when something goes wrong
anyways thanx for making me think :) x o
4 April 2011 at 11:33
=|
4 April 2011 at 19:37
Man, that's disgusting. But I'm not really surprised considering people who have premarital sex on a normal basis almost always have something that ends up happening to them.
4 April 2011 at 20:22
4 April 2011 at 20:24
salam bro,
lots of good and interesting points raised. but maybe next time you could clean it up a bit and take out extraneous info. i have to be honest bro, i felt really uncomfortable reading parts of your conversation.
4 April 2011 at 21:02
I honestly think people ratinalize irratonal things because they already have so much going on in their lives, and they don't want to be bothered by one more thing. Just like life is now more faster and easier, with more memory to stor and more faster computers and faster ways of travel, it's an equally stressful world too. Our patience is thin, and things easily put us off. When something happens once, it's beyond shocking. When it happens again, still shocking but... And then the third time, not really. It's because of our own hectic lives.
Sometimes I wish I lived in the Isle of Man. The population is below 500,000, and it's just empty. I want no cellphone service, no TV, nothing, except me and my family. And the ocean. And the silence.
5 April 2011 at 02:02
I never thought of porn that way in my life. That industry is not something people think about that often, very marginalized. I didn't know there was violence involved. I was reading an article in the newspaper a couple of weeks ago about the plus sides. Maybe that's what draws in thousands of girls. Only industry that wasn't affected by the recession. Naz lol,really, who ARE you? I didn't think you were capable of taking part in these kind of conversations. I am not taking you for an innocent guy anymore lol :P
5 April 2011 at 05:33
This really got me thinking Nas! :(
Your friend's right about helping these people. But you can only those who want to be helped right? The willingness has to come from them not us. And I hope it comes soon.
PS: Where have u been?!
8 April 2011 at 22:58
I missed this post amongst all the awards posts! Anyway, very thought-provoking, indeed.
I don't know why we rationalise irrational things, but I think when it's repeated so many times, each time you see it, you are marginally less shocked. It's like with music videos, in the 80's they were clean, in the early 90's-00's they started pushing the boundaries slightly, and they are pretty disgusting nowadays- but no-one bats an eyelid because we're all so "used" to seeing it, to those images, to that dancing et cetera. The fact that it is so prevalent means we get used to something. It's part of the media's tactic to make us accept or emulate things, but of course, it isn't right.
A while ago I was watching a video about Disney, how they make the Arab characters (like Jafar) seem so evil, so that when USA goes to war with Iraq and kills civillians, people see the Arabs as "evil" and almost not human, so they don't sympathise with the human suffering, as they normally would. It was pretty interesting and quite true.
In the same way, women in the media are objectified and seen as sex-objects; so men quite literally see them as objects and not human, and begin to abuse them. Partly the women degrade themselves too, but that's another matter.
9 April 2011 at 09:38
A very thought provoking post. Honestly, pornography seems so common these days that one doesn't even try to stop and think of what is actually going on behind the scenes. Everyone thinks the girls really enjoy it and that is why they're there.
I, personally, have always hated the whole idea of pornography. I find it demeaning and insulting for the women because it portrays them as nothing but sex objects, and even though their audience might not realise it, this ideology seems to be creeping into their minds. One does get affected by what they witness at the end of the day.
Though we can't do much to bring about change, it is important that we at least consider it wrong in our hearts. Rasool Allah (SAWS) said, "Whosoever of you sees an evil action, let him change it with his hand; and if he is not able to do so, then with his tongue; and if he is not able to do so, then with his heart; and that is the weakest of faith." [Narrated by Abu Saeed Al-Khurdari, found in Sahih Muslim]
1 May 2011 at 19:24
We rationalize as part of a defense mechanism I suppose.
It happens not only with the example you gave right now, but also with smokers, as in when you tell them that it is not good for them, they know that you are right, and yet they rationalize it.
I don't think it's entirely our fault, we are all human and thus terribly flawed :p
19 May 2011 at 08:35
This i was an awesome post..and I agree with PG.Overwhelmed.