Because all our lives are variations on just a few themes, and all our questions, our hopes and fears and joys and sorrows, so similar, I can enter imaginatively into your world and your vulnerability as you can enter into mine. And we can exercise, compassion, a compassion born of empathy. Both words are synonyms for love, by which I don’t mean a romantic feeling but the readiness to give proper attention to whoever or whatever is before our eyes. – Michael Mayne.
A month or so ago, I posted an article from BBC news about the cost of love. It was looking at the ‘not so great’ aspects of love, such as blindness leading to being used, drifting apart and forgetting. You can read that article here. While reading the news this morning I came across the article above (click here) which cites research that has shown love can act like a painkiller and reduce the effects of pain. Seeing a picture of a loved one or thinking about them has a somewhat euphoric effect. Professor Paul Gilbert says, “It’s important to recognise that people who feel alone and depressed may have very low pain thresholds, whereas the reverse can be true for people who feel secure and cared for.” Nicely said prof.
Life’s fun with one, way better with two 
*****
Here’s another article I came across written by a clinical psychologist who actively believes in talking to her patients over the phone as a way of helping them deal with their problems. Though this article is written from a healthcare stance, I think it applies to everyone and talking to someone whether they be a doctor, psychologist, friend or family is something we could all benefit from.
Sorry, my internet at home has recently been down and so I have not been able to reply back to comments etc. I have internet access at uni and it seems to be working at home today, though not very well. So I thought I’d upload this while I had the chance.
Posts
18 October 2010 at 23:29
Awesomee post man!!
you got some really smart and true points in there. like one once said 'I don't know how you feel but I care'!
Great job! =]
19 October 2010 at 11:28
was this inspired by Yours Truly's latest blog post :p
19 October 2010 at 11:37
@ Yours Truly: Like you said the other day, it's compassion which counts. :)
@ Furree Katt: lol. Yours Truly and I discussed this topic on Thursday evening, or Friday I think it was, after I went to the hospice training. And I started writing it then. But it's a sheer coincidence we happened to post something about the same topic :P.
19 October 2010 at 18:21
wow, you should marry her. :P
19 October 2010 at 19:04
@ Furree Katt: I'm afraid that will never happen, for one KICK ASS reason: Nas truly adores Soccer (football) beyond belief. I on the other hand, simply despise it beyond belief. It can never be =. However, thanks for the lovely suggestion. =]
20 October 2010 at 09:19
ahaha! you're welcome! <3
20 October 2010 at 20:21
I saw that article!! yp love really does ease pain due to euphoric bliss.. I reall miss it :(
I avoid saying "I understand" because yes I will not truely understand what its like when patients ahve terminal cancer so I just listen to them talking and it helps- or we talk about general stuff so take their mind away from it. then I feel like I've helped.
lol at above comments^
I see you're doing good :)
Miss anon
21 October 2010 at 11:09
@ Furee Kat: LOL! If I should marry each and every person I ever had the same idea as, then I'd probably have more wives than the prince of Arabia. 8-). And not just wives either. ;D. && like Yours Truly said, football is my life (not literally but close too). I'd marry that if I could.
@ Miss anon: I assume once again, you are the same anonymous character who has commented before? Though this is the first time you've signed off. From your previous posts, it seems that we know each other / you know about me. In the nicest possible manner, who are you? :P
But yes I argee with you, it's not usually right for us to say 'I understand,' because we never will.
=]
22 October 2010 at 21:25
awesome post mann!
The bit about love being a pain killer actually reminded me of when my uncle had his brain surgeries back in summer, and i remember going to the hospital everyday. There were patients there in intensive care units who would get no visitors, which really made me sad :( so whilst talking to a nurse one day I bought this up and she said, surprisingly, that those patients get really ill compared to those who do get visitors and a smiling face to greet every other day.
It was heart breaking. I mean that could be someone's dad or uncle etc.
As for the understanding, i avoid that unless it is something that ive experienced first hand. Otherwise i take a different approach to comforting :)
Stay smiling!
PS: LOL@ the above comments. Its amazing YT's picked footie, that totally fits your story duuude! ;] x
23 October 2010 at 21:19
haha, Lifes good with one, better with two. Well said.
I think falling in, being and falling out of love gives you a lot of self perspective. About the kind of person you are, the person you are going to be and even the person you rather be. Life's a crap shoot, we play the hand we're dealt.
24 October 2010 at 11:49
by the way Nas, where did your picture go o.O
27 October 2010 at 15:17
hi sorry for the untimely delay, I am at present suffering from viral infections
no Nas I dont think I know you in "real life"
Miss Anon
27 October 2010 at 17:02
life is way better AND complicated with two O.o
great points here, will read the articles after the effin exams =o =/ =]
happy blogging!