Closing Pandora's Box

This will be a short post. There's not much I have to say, apart from humbly ask you for your prayers. My dad will be going to hospital tomorrow for an operation in the next few days and if you can please spare a prayer for him.

Remember all those around the world that are suffering, those that have lost loved ones due to war, natural disasters and famines. Remember those that are ill, fighting to stay alive. Remember those that are passing through trials and tribulations. Remember those that are in need of your prayers, wherever they may be. Remember humanity and say a prayer for them all.

I will be going to a wedding this evening, so time to smile. It makes people think you're up to something.

I hope and pray you all have an enjoyable, productive, and lovely week ahead.

Each person is like a jotter, the days of their life penned on the pages within. Some pages are covered in squares, each minute detail, pre-planned and organised is written meticulously in the separate boxes. Others are scribbled onto lined paper. There is some order retained in these days too, but at times when the things don’t go as planned or too well, the flow of the words can be seen to break apart, no longer comfortably hugging the line. There are some pages that are completely blank for the days that cannot be described in coherent sentences, thus abstract words, feelings, pictures or colours do them better justice. Each day our story is recorded. There are some who are able to translate these writings into the words of man. He was never really a writer, but this is his story.

*****

His eyes were bloodshot. Each askew streak of blood represented a tribulation, rarely his, that had kept him awake at night. The redness shrieked STOP, they had seen enough already. Remnants of dark bags sagged under the burdens of what he had witnessed. The French say ‘les yeux sont le miroir de l'âme,’¹ but when people looked into his eyes they saw nothing. There was no light behind them that would illuminate the secrets of his soul. It was like a black hole; you could observe things that went in, but if you stepped too close and looked too hard, you too would be sucked into the nothingness.

His skin was really quite soft and smooth, except on the hands and feet. The soles had been roughened by the treacherous paths of his journey through life and the hands hardened by moving the obstacles that were blocking his way. He tried to take good care of his skin, as well as he possibly could. Deep cleansing face wash followed by a healthy layer of a special brand of moisturiser in the morning usually did the trick.

The hair on his head took care of itself. It wasn’t too long and neither was it too short. Somewhere in between; of a length through which he could pass his fingers but not long enough to blinker his vision. Like grass, it would dance to the slightest of songs played by the wind and settle down appropriately without a fuss when the music stopped. He rarely ever used hairsprays, gels or waxes except on special occasions. But even then sometimes he just didn’t bother with the effort. It was lighter than it had once been and hidden among the dark matte black streaks of white could be seen, unwanted like weeds that had invaded.

People said he looked older than he really was, but what is age? And older compared to what? He put Aloe Vera Vaseline on his parched lips to give them some shine and practiced his smile in front of the mirror for the last time. Then he left.

Yes I know I have a really long eye lashes, and no I don’t curl them.

*****

I don’t talk much about myself. It’s just not something I enjoy doing. There are a select few people who I do talk to about everything but sometimes a flicker in their eyes makes we wonder whether some of them really couldn’t care less. Anyway, that’s not the point. Because of my few word attitude, the General has a notion in his head that when I leave the walls of university, I turn into some gangster pimp with three girlfriends; muffin, AK, and I can’t even remember the last one. So to dispel all these mind wanderings of his I have promised to give him an open, no restrictions imposed interview on Sunday. That’s in two days time. Knowing the General and some of the things that go on inside that head of his, I have a really bad feeling I’m going to regret this. But it was a promise and so it shall happen. I owe two other people interviews too but I think one of them has completely forgotten.

Today the guys celebrated Dum’s birthday which was last month on the 27^th. I didn’t go. I couldn’t go. I’ve been getting ill quite a LOT recently and finally got an appointment, the only appointment, today. It made me really sad.

In other news, I have made an about.me page the idea of which I found on Gian Faye’s blog, Loading Info. Her blog is really cool and focuses on the internet and all things related. There have been many instances when I have read something on her blog about a website or a program and after having done so, made use of it. You can find the link to my about.me page it on the right hand side. I have also made a twitter because my phone has a twitter app. But I don’t really know how to use it so yeah.

That’s all for today folks. Have a lovely weekend.

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Title: Writer – Ellie Goulding
All photographs in this post are from my personal photography
¹Translation in English reads ‘the eyes are windows into the soul’

Exams finished on Wednesday and I don’t think I would have been able to do them without the help of the General, Little Miss Sunshine and Dummer. It was Dummer who made me start revising for the ‘immunity and infection’ module by sending me a word document full of so many words underlined in red. Without Little Miss Sunshine’s emails I very much doubt I would have been able to do much of the ‘Therapeutics: Protein to Patient’ exam. The General was just the General, helping here, there and everywhere. Thank you to all 3 of you and to everyone for your support, well wishes and early morning texts.

Before exams started, apart from revision there was the dissertation to do. It was titled, ‘sphingosine-1-phosphate induced reactive oxygen species production in microglia’ and the final book, 46 pages long, looked rather nice if I may say so myself. It was bound with red leather (knowing me are you surprised I picked that colour?) and I was quite happy with it in the end. I couldn’t stop opening it and flicking through the pages every few minutes.

  

*****

Yesterday I spent most of the day gardening. It was a chance for me to de-stress and get my mind off things. While mowing the grass, taking out weeds from the flower beds and watching the bees and other insects fly and crawl, I was made to think about life and people. I’d like to share some photos I took on my phone and the thoughts that accompanied them.

Life is full of doors; some have behind them countless opportunities to excel and others are opened or closed depending on the decisions we make. Whenever life offers you a door take a peep through because you never know, you may be kings or queens of your very own Narnia on the other side. Be careful you look properly before you walk in though, because it may just be an empty drop into nothingness.

Every gardener knows just how much of a problem weeds can be. They deprive flowers and other plants that you want to grow of nutrients, sunlight and space. If you rip off the shoots above the ground they disappear, yes, but only temporarily. They’ll keep growing back, again and again and again, year after year. It’s the same with problems each one of us faces in our day to day lives. If we shove them under the carpet, away from the view of the world, yes they’ll not be visible, but they’ll always be there. And as long as they’re there, well they will cause problems. To deal effectively with weeds you have to find the roots, yank them out and dispose of them. In the same way, when faced with a problem it’s best to deal with them at the root level (for that is the cause) and not the shoot level (for that is just what the root is exhibited as).

While clearing out the flower beds I noticed bees flying onto the flowers dancing from one to the other. Some would also come to these blue flowers (above), land on them but quickly fly away. It reminded me of people who hide behind a pretty face. When you get to know them properly however, you realise deep down inside they’re nothing but prickly buggers and if you get too close things can get messy.

In our garden we have had a rose arch. The top of the arch broke yesterday and after moving some of the branches around (and desi engineering) I managed to make it stand by itself. It made me realise the importance of support in our lives without which we too would fall. But more importantly it made me realise that once we have been helped on to our feet, we all have the strength to stand on our own without support.

At the base of the rose arch I noticed that many weeds had grown. In the same way as these plants were stealing nutrients and minerals from the rose plant, with little care for the latter, people also do the same. Some people come to you pretending to be friends bringing nice gifts and happiness. But when faced with the choice of you or both of you, they wouldn’t hesitate in leaving you behind.

It is for this reason that roses protect their beauty with thorns. That doesn’t necessarily mean people and other animals will stop touching them or stop causing them harm, but it does make the person think of their own safety before they do so. In the same way a Muslim lady protects her beauty by wearing a veil.

All throughout the day I was desperately trying to take a picture of a busy bee, as they flew around me. By the time my phone’s camera turned on, the bee would already have already buzzed off. Just as I was about to give up and go inside for lunch, another opportunity presented itself. You can see the result of it above.

*****

I wish you all a very happy, relaxing and enjoyable weekend wherever in the world you are.

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Title: Mary Mary quite contrary – Nursery Rhyme
All photographs in this post are from my personal photography

This is the final award I have recently been given. When I first looked at it, the word Rad reminded me of German back in high school. Rad in German means bike. But I don’t think this award has anything to do with bikes.

It was given to me by the lovely Sana Castellano (@ A Life Worth Living). Apart from being lovely, she’s funny, witty, clever (aren’t all med students?) and I think she has been going through relationship issues with her blog recently *insert fly inviting moment here* (inserted). Her layout has changed so many times recently that I sometimes had trouble realising it was the same blog I was reading. Now it’s a nice and lovely purple. I think she has resolved her relationship issues with her blog so you can pay her a visit and read some of the awesome things she has to say.

The rules of accepting this award are relatively simple (or not depending on which way you look at them). All you have to do is post a picture you have taken or one from your camera / phone, and give it a caption.

True love in a 330ml can. <3

This picture was  taken by my little brother (or his friend, I can’t remember) at a mosque event a few years back. My hair was so long it wouldn’t fit in my hat. And the eye lashes. Well 2 friends of mine liked them so much they offered to give me a free makeup session involving things that I didn’t even know the meaning of.

Anyway, onto the awarding part. Here are a few awesome bloggers that rank 6.759+ on the Rad scale.

1. Sana Castellano (@ A life worth living) totally deserves this. Yes I know it’s a bit weird to give back an award to someone who gave it to you, but in this case I hope you can overlook that. If you don’t believe me, just check out her blog.
2. Smiley (@ Sparkling Smiles) hates dislikes (?) awards because of the attached rules and regulations. But she totally deserved this. You don’t pre-book people to write your biography unless they’re good. She’s not good, she’s A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Take a read of her recent posts and you will nod your head in agreement. Every post that her fingers type is just so wow. Pretty good job for butter fingers ;).
3. Zαìήαβ (@ Dummy Escape) is pretty Rad (no not in the bike sense of the word). I like her blog because it’s simple. People try so hard to stand out from the crowd that they end being the same as every one else. This blog is different; it’s not hard on the head, nor the eyes and it’s beauty lies in its simplicity. I like it, and I think you will too!
4. Since I started following Ella Unread’s (@ From the STUPIDEST corner of my mind) blog, I have never left her writing without feeling something. She writes short posts, but they are soaked in emotion and humanity, so much so, you’re bound to come across one that’ll make you nod your head and say ‘Me too’.
5. One blogger that is never afraid to say things bluntly, or speak of topics that many people would rather brush under the mat and act like they never existed is Azra (@ Azurah). Her posts can leave you LOL-ing, shaking your head in disgust or scratching your chin deep in thought and there are only very few people who can do that. I personally have learnt a lot from reading what she has to say.
6. Furree Katt (@ Furree Katt) is cool personified. Her blog is a place where you can laugh and have a generally good time. Her writing is always refreshing and fun to read, and the writer herself is a very nice person.
7. AcetylCholine (@ Critical Velocity) is probably the loveliest, funniest and most awesomest Martian you’ll ever come across. And you still want to know why she’s a worthy recipient of this award?
8. I decided to leave Yours Truly (@  {{ Yours Truly }}) to the end of the list because she deserves a special mention. Like all the other people in this list, she is an excellent writer who can keep you captivated for a very long time in words that are extremely thought provoking and true. She is an amazing writer who writes once every 6 or so weeks. That is why I mentioned her last. :P

I hope and pray you all have a lovely and productive week ahead.

[This is a scheduled post]

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Title: Fireflies – Owl City

Yesterday at the hospice my colleague and I started talking about the pornographic industry. Though initial parts of this conversation maybe somewhat crude and explicit, the points raised at the end are extremely important and thought provoking.

Him	I have been totally put off porn.
Me	No way? You? You like have a wank multiple times a day how can you of all people be put off it?
Him	7 times a day…
Me	What about all that friction?
Him	I’ve learnt to use lube.
Me	Anyway, you were saying about being put off it. What happened?
Him	I recently read some really disturbing facts about it.
Me	Like what?
Him	For example 1 in 5 porn stars are likely to commit suicide. There was this lady who got so depressed she drove into a kindergarten and survived. And then did it again. She died the second time. Then you hear about others jumping off balconies or overdosing.
Me	1 in 5? No way?! That’s bloody HUGE. And freakin’ hell man, that’s messed up.
Him	And like nearly all suffer from sexually transmitted diseases such as gonorrhoea and genital herpes.
Me	But I thought porn stars underwent thorough testing for that kind of stuff.
Him	*shakes head* I was on porn leaks. It’s like wikileaks but for porn and they had details of thousands and thousands of porn stars. They had their real name, porn star name and then some information. I had to scroll down many thousands before I came across one that passed. That is to say one that was clean.
Me	I’m surprised.
Him	And also, many of the female porn stars who have been in the industry for more than a decade or so end up having to use diapers because they no longer have the ability to retain bodily fluids.
Me	No freaking way. But I don’t get it, why a diaper?
Him	Think of this way. Getting a rod the thickness of that pipe *points at tap which is verrrrrry thick* shoved repeatedly where it shouldn’t be harms that area.
Me	But you hear of all these couples having a fun time nearly every night. They seem to be alright.
Him	Yeah but think of the aggression that is involved in porn. It’s not normal.
Me	I guess so.
Him	And do you know what really disgusted me and got me thinking?
Me	What?
Him	A doctor was quoted as saying how, if we were to see someone getting beaten up on the street, we’d do our best to prevent it. Like say for instance you saw some one beating someone else up, would you not try and stop or at least tell the person to stop?
Me	Yeah of course.
Him	And if you saw the same person getting beaten up the next day you’d do the same. And the day after and after and after that too. But there comes a time when we just can’t be bothered. It becomes a normal occurrence and when we say that we have rationalised a pretty irrational thing.
Me	Right.
Him	And the same is with porn. We rationalise the violence the girls and women are put through because ‘its a norm’ and because when we hear about them getting £5,000 per film and see them smiling after a film we accept it. And in that moment we rationalise the extreme violence and justify it. There are more pervs in the world than there are non-pervs, so it’s the way things go. The girls get strangled and slapped and thrown and put through all sorts of painful positions.
Me	But would you not agree to the fact that there is a difference between porn stars and people getting beaten up?
Him	And the same applies to sports like boxing, and cage-fighting. They’re so brutal and the injuries sustained can be so horrific.
Me	Yeah but porn stars, boxers, fighters, they all chose to do what they do. Whereas someone getting beaten up across the street is not their fault. They don’t choose to do it.
Him	That is true, but why does society act against drug addicts who ‘choose’ to take drugs but not the other people who are victims of quite serious forms of violence?

I just want you to concentrate on what he said about rationalising the irrational to make it acceptable. Come to think of it, it happens a lot in today’s society. We are quick to find rationale for things that really shouldn’t be rationalised thus allowing us to brush those monsters away from our thoughts. Why? Why do we allow such things to happen?

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Title: Nobody’s home – Avril Lavigne

Here are the Rules for receiving the award:

1. Thank and link back to the person that awarded you this award
2. Share 7 things about yourself
3. Award 15 recently discovered great bloggers
4. Contact these bloggers and tell them about the award

This award was given to me by Kamila (many many months ago), Yours Truly and most recently by Zainab. Thank you all ever so much for awarding me!

7 things about me:

1. I think I have suffered more colds in this year alone already than the whole of last year. -___-
2. I am really craving a muffin with a hot mug of milk and honey, right now.
3. I procrastinate a lot and had an essay to hand in last week on Wednesday. I think that was the first time ever I felt sick of my procrastinating and nearly cried. But I didn’t. I did the essay instead. Thank you General!
4. I am in a good mood  today (Saturday). After a break in domestic football due to international matches I was once again able to watch my dear Manchester United come back from 2-0 down at half time to win the match 4-2. I only watched the first half because dad’s crew came round to watch the cricket world cup final and kicked me off.
5. I wanted to be a tree at one time in my life (don’t even bother asking).
6. A few minutes ago my brother farted. It was lethal. I smelt it with my blocked nose.
7. I just sneezed and you wouldn’t guess what happened. No, the keyboard is clean. I sneeze farted .

Award to 15 other bloggers

1. Tazeen @ Crimson Sky.
2. Kitkat @ Kitkat’s Tales.
3. Leah @ My Tasty Treasures.
4. Anna K @ A he♥rt for all.
5. normal.is.overrated @ Conceal your thoughts.
6. Randomhyper @ Organized chaos.
7. рεяfεcтℓγ▪ιмpзяfзcт @ Politics of a Torontonian Hijaby.
8. justine love @ Psycho Chick Lessons.
9. SaJ @ Bleargh!
10. Sidrah @ Under The Magic Tree.
11. me_duress @ Another Man's Dream.

Stay smiling! =]

[This is a scheduled post]

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Title: Fireflies – Owl City

It has been exactly a week since I last posted, and as I have recently received a lot of awards from lots of lovely people, I think I’m going to spend the next few days working on them.

*****

So here are the rules:

1. Thank and link back to the person that awarded this to you.
2. Link posts by you and fellow bloggers that YOU find inspirational.
3. Give the award to 10 fellow bloggers.

This award was given to me by ¤•˚Zαìήαβ˚•¤ (@ Dummy Escape). Thank you ever so much for giving me this honour! You should pay her blog a visit, despite it being very pink, it really is simple and sweet.

I’m going to combine points 2 & 3. Here are some bloggers and their blogs that truly light up my blog-reading:

1. Sara (@ Sweet Serenity in Islam) is extremely knowledgeable, and well spoken. Her blog is for everyone, Muslims who wish to improve their faith and non-Muslims who wish to learn more about Islam. Inspiring Post: Fulfilling our dreams.
2. Though Aeesha S. (@ Aeesha’s Recital) hasn’t recently posted any long and detailed posts, there are many many things one can learn from what she has to say and be duly inspired. While browsing through her blog looking for a relevant post to share with you all, I came across the following one-liner that sums up my point. Inspiring Post: An appraisal.
3. One blog that I have recently started following (literally last week) is Audacious Tori’s (@ Audacious Tori). The reason I like it is because her posts are simple, and usually short but extremely truthful, blunt  and hard hitting. Inspiring Post: When it is over?
4. Another new blog is Chymere Hayes (@ Chymere Hayes). ‘A personal journey to success’ from which we can all borrow a few words of wisdom. Inspiring Post: Note to self.
5. I know I have mentioned Gary (@ Khlanie) a few times before, and if any one deserved this award he surely does! Amazing writer, humourous and inspiring, I have trouble finding words to describe him. Inspiring Post: Positive energy saboteurs.
6. Amira (@ The Stranger’s Diary) is another very knowledgeable blogger who is always interesting to read. Inspiring post: Should be sleeping (a few pictures).
7. MoniqueS (@ My social anxiety disorder), writes from a personal perspective about the title of her blog. There are many ill conceived concepts regarding anxiety disorders and her blog goes a long way in shedding some light on the hidden secrets we may not normally notice or overlook. Inspiring post: My film career and social anxiety.
8. There are some people, whose words make you realise the value of living each and every day. The writer of TheraScribbles is one of them. His words are from the heart and talk about his battle with depression. Inspiring Post: Should I stay or should I go.
9. Asma Khan (@ Stay Blessed) is an excellent and thought provoking writer. Each of her posts leaves one nodding their head in agreement. Inspiring Post: Toxic Relationship.
10. I need a break. Don’t hold your breath for this space.

Hope you are all having a lovely, relaxing and enjoyable weekend.

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Title: Fireflies – Owl City